Child Custody And Divorce: Free Legal Advice
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In order to determine what might be an advantageous offer (one you should accept), or what might be a NON-advantageous offer (one that should NOT be accepted), you have to make a list of the assets. Several lists, really. The important thing is to get your thoughts organized, get your facts organized, get your shortcomings organized (so you can correct them, one after the other), and this leads to getting your CASE ORGANIZED. You may have to present your case to a judge, in a trial, and you don't want to be disorganized, or confusing, or, even worse, just plain wrong.
You have the nuts and bolts of getting those facts organized because your lawyer did that for you during the discovery process. Let's rough out a proposed property disposition: we'll list the stuff that WE WANT, and we'll contrast that list to another list, the stuff that THEY CAN HAVE. If you remain flexible, you can achieve more than if you don't remain flexible. If the other side remains flexible, you are more likely to be able to reach an agreement. If the other side does not remain flexible, two things should occur to you:
1. You may have to play to their inflexibility, just to make the deal.
2. If you are willing to make a show of playing to their inflexibility (appearing to give in on a point that they really want) you may get far more than it's worth, just because they really, really, want to "win" on that point.
One obvious, and of course simplistic, example, appeared in Chapter 2: "I know you want the house, dear, but you know that what I want is....." and the point was OFFER HER THE HOUSE.
Let me phrase it another way (I love this part. I get more smug opponents, and yet I get more truly [quietly] satisfied, and loyal clients, with this technique):
LET THE OTHER SIDE WIN.
That's right, let them win, SO LONG AS WE GET WHAT WE WANT IN EXCHANGE FOR IT. And, by the way, we want a lot. FAR MORE than it's worth. We're likely to get it, too, because the other side won't add up what it just cost them: they won't need to, because they've just "won". My client, smart client that he(she) is, will NEVER burst their bubble. Several years later, my client will still suffer (happily, but quietly) the small indignity of having an old mutual friend from back in the marriage days say, over cocktails in a quiet bar "...sorry about the divorce thing. I heard Robert came out quite well, better than he expected, really."
My client will say something bland, like "Well, it all works out for the best, don't you think? Besides, that was so long ago".
My client WILL NOT say "Robert was an idiot, and he still is. What Robert wanted was my Corvette. From the day he met me, it became "his" car, even though the title stayed in my name. He didn't have a prayer of getting it awarded to him from the judge, if the case went to trial. Robert even took the car when we separated, and wouldn't let go of it. Are you kidding? The car had a street value of eleven thou, if it were in perfect shape, and it wasn't, because that idiot didn't maintain it properly. My lawyer and I let him KEEP the goddam car, but I got one-third of his pension, with the survivor annuity (which my financial advisor says adds up to over eleven hundred bucks a month, starting when Robert retires, and continues, not until Robert dies, but until I die, and my life expectancy is fourteen years more than his. In addition, I got the house, and only had to pay him twenty thousand, on great terms, for his so-called "half" of the equity, but my lawyer and I figured up his half at twenty six thousand five hundred, and that would have been in cash, not on small monthly payments with no interest, and I got all of the household furnishings, every last one of them, and got to keep the bank escrow against property taxes, which had a balance of four thousand dollars in it at the time, and I got to keep that year's joint income tax refund, which amounted to another twenty eight hundred, and he had to pay off my two credit card bills, which I ran up with cash advances, just to pay my lawyer. That lawyer must be one of the smartest guys I ever met, but Robert? He's going down in history as one of the dumbest."
No-indeedy-do. She never said any such thing. And won't.
Who won? Why, Robert did. He still drives the car. And on those occasions (rare), when he happens to pass my client on the street, he waves, and smiles. No hard feelings.
So you're going to make your lists, and you're going to make them an offer, or you're going to respond to their offer, but you're going to make a real attempt to get it settled, because it pays, in the long run, to settle, if you can do it advantageously. Don't forget [smile] they might even "win".
Good luck with it.