Child Custody And Divorce: Free Legal Advice
Child Custody And Divorce: Free Legal Advice
Child Custody And Divorce: Free Legal Advice
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Here's the other side of the coin. You dads can quit with the hate mail already, it was just coincidence that "An Example Dad" from two chapters back appeared first. It could have just as easily been the other way around, and no, I don't favor women over men, nor men over women, for all of that. My clients are pretty much half of each gender, and I don't specialize in representing one or the other. Nor do I want to.
A woman comes into the office, having been served a petition for custody of the children, which was filed by the ex-husband, naturally enough.
"That bastard. He's only doing this for retaliation. The judge will recognize that, won't he?"
Well, yes, usually. Retaliation for what?
"I asked him for money for the kids, and he said he's overpaying now, and I said 'we'll see about that, you bastard', and the youngest started crying, and it was a big scene."
You asked him for money, for the kids, right in front of the children?
"Yes, because if I don't ask him right in front of them, he says 'no'. So I hold each of them by the hand, and I flat-out tell him 'these kids need groceries, you cheap son-of-a-bitch'. That usually works, and he'll have to reach into his pocket and give me a twenty, then it became a ten, I think he figured it out and started carrying a ten dollar bill when I came over to pick up the kids."
Doesn't he pay his child support?
"Oh, yes, he's paid up, he's even ahead a little. I asked for money a few months ago, because I had to get a new trailer, and he sent Friend of the Court a check for the deposit, six hundred or so, and I got it two days later. I had to wait two whole days, can you believe it? I almost lost the trailer."
I assume you're renting a mobile home, is that right? And where did you live before that?
"Yes, we're renting over at Shady Acres. We used to live in Fowlerville, but that dump evicted us, and we had to move, and if I hadn't talked that bastard into giving me the deposit, the deputies would have put us on the street."
You got evicted? For non-payment?
"No, it was because of my boyfriend. Former boyfriend, I should say. He got us kicked out of three parks in two years, he's a real jerk. I hope he goes to jail this time."
Goes to jail for what?
"He beat me up, pretty badly. I needed a trip to the hospital, and the police took him away. He's always causing trouble, that's why we had to move so much."
But if you used to live in Fowlerville, doesn't that mean that the kids have changed schools?
"Well, yes, but kids adapt. They find new friends. When we moved before, when we had to change trailer parks, we switched towns then too, and the kids adapted just fine."
Well, how are the kids doing in school?
"I don't really know. I should get over to see the teachers, I guess, but I don't know when the PTA meetings are. My ex-husband could tell me, I'll bet, he goes over to see the teachers every now and then. The youngest was having a little trouble with discipline, I guess, at least that's what my ex- said about it. He talked to the principal, but that was two schools ago, with the moves and all. I guess he's still ticked that I moved again, but I had to, didn't I?"
How do the kids get along with their dad?
"They get along quite well with him, even if I don't. He's got them every weekend, and on Wednesdays, overnight, because that's my late meeting night."
Your ex-husband takes the kids every weekend?
"Well, I work every weekend. Since I moved up to management, I could make a lot more money working weekends, and that was the only slot open for management, working weekends. My ex- said that he didn't mind, and he picks them up from school half the time anyway, and if the shift runs over, they just sleep at his place anyway, he takes them to school in the morning."
He picks them up from school? What does he do for a living?
"He's a computer programmer, he writes computer programs, he works in his home, right there in the family room, typing away, all hours of the day and night."
So he's available for the kids, if they need something?
"He's always right there, in that same damn chair, if he's not out running with the kids, playing in the damn mud and all, he does that a lot, just ruins their clothes, and if I had to buy them, that stuff would stop. He's their worst influence, I swear. He painted their faces last halloween, they all went to school as zebras, with tails, all black and white, and went trick or treating that way in the night."
What do you mean 'they all'?
"Why, he went with them, to the school, and marched around, all in costume, black and white stripes, you know, zebras, all three of them, him and the two kids."
Well, he doesn't sound like one of those every-other-weekend fathers, does he? I'm reading your divorce judgment here, and it says he gets every other weekend with the children. When did that change? And, by the way, a minute ago, you said 'if I had to buy their clothes...', don't you buy their clothes?
"No, he does. He usually calls, sometimes not, and says 'meet us at Sears', and he lets me pick out what the kids need, and he pays for it. And about that visitation, the visitation in the judgment hasn't had any real meaning for years. After the divorce, when he married his present wife, and bought the new house, well, I guess it's not new now, they've been there for years, he settled down a lot. He'd call, and say that I didn't need to be spending money for child care, he'd pick up the kids from school, and I could beep him on his beeper, and he'd bring the kids right over. Well, since the judgment said he's to pay thirty dollars a week to help out with child care, that was just money in my pocket, so I said yes, he could do it. And he did. He never even mentioned the money, it just came in every week, from the Friend of the Court. When I leave the factory, I dial his beeper, and he and the kids are at my driveway, they sometimes beat me home. Then about a year later, he mentioned my late meeting night, Wednesdays, when we have staff meetings. So he kept the kids on Wednesday nights and whenever I had out-of-town trips, like to Detroit, to meet with suppliers, and for the months of July and August, when we're re-tooling for changeover. And he never mentioned the support, he's never even put in for his abatement, he's supposed to get half off on those weeks he keeps the kids. The check just keeps coming in, well, that's real money, you know what I mean? Anyway, he didn't mention it. And about a year after that, when I was having trouble with my boyfriend about him moving out, or watching the kids when I work weekends, not this boyfriend, the one before that, well, my ex- volunteered to keep the kids on every weekend, not just every-other. That helped out a lot, and if I beeped him, the kids were home, period. And he never mentioned the support that time either. That check kept coming in, so was I going to complain? Not hardly. So anyway, this thing with him filing for custody, it's retaliation for me mentioning the support money. I want you to get his support raised while we're at it, can you do that at the same time? Since we're going to court anyway, I mean?"
That's the interview. Really. I didn't change very much this time, either, just as I didn't change very much in "An Example Dad" from two chapters ago. It's an EXAMPLE: let's examine the custody factors, and apply it to this situation. Remember, each factor is a separate contest, and the judge will rule in favor of one parent or the other as to each factor. Glance at the factors again, then answer the question: What, as determined by the custody factors, is the best interest of the children?