Child Custody And Divorce: Free Legal Advice
Child Custody And Divorce: Free Legal Advice
Child Custody And Divorce: Free Legal Advice
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You should have taken, from the previous four chapters, that you should get your house in order prior to filing for custody. In one sense, that's just an expression, "get your house in order", but, in the custody area, it's also a specific command, dealing with your house, isn't it?
We are going to evaluate those factors once again, with a view to explaining what you should do as to each one of them. Why? Because the judge is going to evaluate this case in the context of those twelve factors, that's why. Oh, and if the judge doesn't evaluate the case on the basis of those twelve factors? Then we are going to appeal the judge's decision and win the appeal. Remember, child custody law is very different from divorce law. In divorce, the judge is obligated to be fair to each party. In child custody disputes, the judge is obligated to follow the twelve factors, period. Even if it's not fair. Think about it, or re-read Chapter 22.
Let's examine the factors once again:
In deciding the custodial arrangements, the court must consider all of the following factors of the Michigan Child Custody Act:
(a) The love, affection, and other emotional ties existing between the parties involved and the child.
That means that you should have, and be able to demonstrate, to prove by specific examples, that you have that love, affection, and those emotional ties. If you call the child twice a week, good. If you call always at the same exact time, on the same exact day, for example Tuesday and Thursdays at the very stroke of 5 p.m., even better. ("Judge, I wanted to make it plain to the child that I loved him, but I didn't want to intrude all the time, I know he's got things going over there, at his mom's. [POINT GAINED. THIS GUY IS REASONABLE.]
If you call non-stop, or at varying hours, or call late in the evening, or interrupt dinner or studying, or talk for a whole half hour (or longer) [POINT LOST. THIS GUY IS NOT REASONABLE].
Be inventive here. Be able to demonstrate that you are reasonable, and that you love your child, and that your child loves you. AVOID behaviors that demonstrate the opposite:
"I always call before I drop by, if it's at non-scheduled times. Last month, I was on their side of town, for a business meeting, and the meeting wound up at three thirty. I called first, to ask if I could come by and take him up for a Dairy Queen, you know, bring him right back, just spend a half hour with him, because I knew he just got home from school....[POINT GAINED. THIS GUY IS REASONABLE].
"...and when she said "No", I just kind of told my son, "Well, we could have had that ice cream, you know, it's not my fault, it's your mom's fault, don't blame me, I tried."[POINT LOST. THIS GUY IS NOT REASONABLE] Think about it: you really blew it with that additional comment, didn't you? Don't do it.
(b) The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to give the child love, affection, and guidance and continuation of the educating and raising of the child in its religion or creed, if any.
There are many important words here, and you should re-read the paragraph several
times, emphasizing different words.
Try this: The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to give the child
love, affection, and guidance and continuation of the educating and raising of the child
in its religion or creed, if any.
What capacity do you have? Are you in there pleading poverty, but you obviously won't
work? It hurts you. Do you have the capacity, but just don't have the disposition to spend
any of that money? ("I don't have to pay for school trips, I pay my support every
week..."). It hurts you. Look at the other side of the coin:
"Well, Mrs. Parker, isn't it true that since the divorce, six years ago, this child has never worn a pair of shoes not purchased by his father? His father bought every pair of shoes, in addition to paying his child support, didn't he? In addition to that, my client would, every August, during his four weeks with the child, telephone you and ask you to meet him at the mall, and you would pick out the child's school clothes, but my client would pay for them, wouldn't he? In addition to his support, which was never late, was it? And when the child was seven, and my client bought Teenage Turtles school book covers, but the child wanted Power Ranger book covers, and started crying, my client dropped everything, telephoned you right back, and met you up at the store, and bought the Power Ranger covers, didn't he? Do you recall what he said to the child, right there in the parking lot, right in front of you? He said, "You see, your mother and I can fix anything, can't we? And he said to this seven-year-old "Did you thank your mother for bringing you up to the store and making this right? You remember to say 'thank you' when people do extra nice things like your mother just did?" Isn't that what my client did?...."
Now how can you argue with a father like that?
Emphasize a different word in the language of the factor this time:
The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to give the child love, affection, and guidance and continuation of the educating and raising of the child in its religion or creed, if any .
The issue of religion is kind of a sensitive one, and there aren't very many hard and fast rules. It is, theoretically, not true that one must raise a child with religious training. I suppose it is true that atheists have rights too, or that a general belief in God (of whatever label) is just as good, from a parenting-ability standpoint, as active involvement in religious activity. In real life, however, it doesn't seem to work that way. Many, many custody cases are won and lost by one point, one factor, and you should be aware that a careless attitude toward this issue can cost you the whole case. You need to have a reasonable attitude toward religion, and be aware of the attitude of the other side, and evaluate, often, how it can affect your case.
Let's move on. In the next chapter, we're going to cover some more factors, and provide you with some more do's and don'ts.