Child Custody And Divorce: Free Legal Advice
Child Custody And Divorce: Free Legal Advice
Child Custody And Divorce: Free Legal Advice
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This is part two. If you haven't yet read part one, go to the previous chapter
There are some things at work here that you need to know about. The court system is certainly not perfect, but it happens to be what we/you are stuck with. As you know by now, having read the previous forty chapters or so, the court system has faced several problems that seem to come up over and over again, and the court system has imposed fairly rigid standards, in the belief, rightly or wrongly, that a "solution" has been achieved, and that a general rule has been announced, which people will, or should, be aware of, and will follow. There are several of these general rules, these rigid formulas, in the family law area, and I have made you aware of a few of them:
a. "You just can't make it, financially, if the Court imposes the standard support? Tough. The Child Support Guidelines apply to everyone, statewide. Standard support will be ordered."
b. "You withheld visitation again, after this Court warned you about that some eight weeks ago? Yes, you have to force the child to go, if that's what it takes, because this child is GOING TO have a relationship with the non-custodial parent. Makeup visitation is ordered, and you will pay the other side $450 in costs and attorneys fees."
Those general rules, and all of the other general rules, didn't just spring up out of thin air, like weeds in a lawn seem to do. Those rules developed after the judges watched the problem for a little while, tried one solution or another, and then watched again, to see if the situation got better. The general rules that stayed are the ones that worked. If a general rule just doesn't work, it will, sooner or later, be discarded in favor of a general rule that does work.
We are at that stage right now, in the family law area, with respect to the question "May I Move Out Of State?" The answer to that question has changed over the last five to ten years. It will change some more, over the next five to ten years. There are some stereotypes to deal with, and there are some problems to be solved, that weren't solved very well in the past. Those problems WILL be solved a little better in the future. Count on it.
But what are we dealing with today? Today, we are dealing with the stereotype of Women Who Fall In Love With Men From Somewhere Else. They, these women, are a real pain for the judges, a real pain for their lawyers, and a definite pain in the posterior for their ex-spouses and their children.
I've apologized several times, in earlier chapters, so I might as well apologize again: I don't mean to be sexist. This seems to be a gender-specific problem, and it's the women who are doing it, not the men. Sorry, but that's just the way it is. If a man finds himself tempted to fall in love with, or become involved with, a Woman From Somewhere Else, he will say "Gee, if I do this, I will move away from my kids, and I won't get to see my kids enough." On the other hand, if a certain type of woman (no, not all of them) finds herself tempted to fall in love with, or get involved with, a Man From Somewhere Else, it seems that many of them will say "Gee, when I move, to find paradise, with the Man From Somewhere Else, my ex won't get to see the kids as often (and that's fine by me), and there might even be some airfare involved here, and, if I don't have a job, my ex might even have to pay the airfare too (and that's really OK, that'll drive him nuts), and, if I mess with him, and don't put the kids on the plane, and come up with some hairbrained reason, he won't get to see the kids at all, that would be WAY COOL! Wow!
Others, who are probably cousins of the first group, don't actually admit to the above thougts: their point of view is that this whole thing was an accident. "Well, I didn't MEAN to fall in love with Raoul, it just happened...."
But the next assumption is the work of art: "...and therefore, since I'm sincerely in love, and since Raoul lives in San Diego, I mean, obviously, he and I and the kids are moving to San Diego."
No. Not obviously. Raoul may be moving, and you may go with him, if you choose, but the kids are staying here. With dad. There is a legal standard to the granting of court permission to move the kids' domicile, and this stuff just doesn't cut it. It's not even close. But the question gets asked, of judges, quite often, and you'd be surprised how many sound just like that. And, of course, those requests for permission to move are denied. You really ought to see the look on the faces, as they walk out of the courtroom: it can only be described as shock. Total shock. Witness the walking wounded, and you can hear them say, kind of out loud, but not really, "...but I told them I was getting married. MARRIED...." They don't understand it, even now.
Do you? Do you understand it? Here's the answer, for those of you who don't understand it: I'll capitalize it, for emphasis.
I'm going to center it on the page, just so you know this is important.
And, you have to click, over to the